Making a Birthday Card

I see other moms happily making crafts with their kids and I can't wait until Hudson is old enough for that. In the meantime, I try to get him to colour sometimes. He is much more interested in eating the colouring implements than he is in colouring with them. But I persist. Here is our adventure from yesterday in making two birthday cards.

Attempt One: Crayons. If he eats these, they will not stain his mouth. And indeed he does eat them, sometimes two at a time. But they are crummy crayons and Hudson (and me in fact) cannot really press hard enough for them to make a mark.
Attempt Two: Markers. He immediately tries to shove them in his mouth, marker end first. I am thrilled with myself when I come up with the idea to put his soother in, so he can suck on that and focus on colouring with his marker. He's doing it, he's doing it!
But not for long.
After putting several different coloured markers in his mouth, even with his soother in and even with me trying to hold his hand to the paper, we call it quits. Some people are upset about this.The End.